Lilly turned 5 this past summer. We’ve always said she’s so mature but now we’re actually seeing her grow and change before our very eyes. She’s learning so quickly, reading books to me outloud. I’m totally in awe of this little human. Her sense of humor is beyond. She always has us cracking up. She’s spontaneous, fun and incredibly brave.
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She started kindergarten this past fall and with that, came a slew of challenges and transitions. I took her to preschool last year for 4 hours daily but this year proved to be a much tougher adjustment with a longer day, bigger school, new friends and new teachers. It’s a lot for a little kid to handle.
Lilly’s always been calm, cool and collected. Our easy going, happy girl. But this year she started acting out. She would yell and scream in anger when her brother would bother her. She started getting physical with me when she didn’t get her way. She’d go from 0-100 in a matter of seconds and flip her lid. All of this came as a total shock for me and my husband. What the hell was going on? Who is this girl? This isn’t the Lilly we knew. We chalked it up to a “phase” and that’s definitely valid. She’s experiencing a lot of changes and difficult adjustments, but there was more to it.
Our mornings started getting hectic again. She’d cry and say she didn’t want to go to school. When I’d ask her why, she’d give a slurry of reasons like, “It’s too easy,” or this kid was bothering her, etc. All valid reasons, but I knew deep down something else was off.
My husband had mentioned it a few times but it didn’t sink in for some reason until I’d finally had enough and knew something had to change. “She needs more sleep,” he said.
Duh.
Look, kids can be messy and drive you up the wall but their basic needs have to be met. And sleep is one of them. If they aren’t getting the sleep they need, they turn into gremlins. Not cute, cuddly Gismo. The wild and crazy one with the mohawk that wreaks havoc and leaves chaos wherever it goes.
So I did some research. According to the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, kids age 3-5 years should be getting 10-13 hours of sleep. Lilly was getting about 9-9 1/2 hours. (She stopped naps around 3 1/2.) It wasn’t nearly enough. So we made some changes.
**Now this next part is super important! When you talk to your kids about changes in routine or really about anything under the sun, you’ve gotta get on their level. Grab their attention in an exciting way and keep it. If I sounded like a Harvard professor, “According to this site, a 5 year old should get this amount of sleep and here are the reasons why…” Snooze. They’re kids! And they couldn’t care less. So after homework time was done, I said “Guys! I learned something new today! Wanna know what it was?” This way, I got their attention and they really wanted to know what I learned. So I told them that I looked up how much sleep kids of different ages need, “…and guess how much 5 year olds need? 10-13 hours! But guess how much Lilly sleeps? Do you know? 9. That’s not enough!” My tone was light, positive and cheery. I really think the way I presented this was key to us implementing it successfully.
So I started putting Lilly down earlier 2 nights ago and holy moly, what a GAME CHANGER!! The first night I had her go down half an hour earlier. Last night I bumped it to 15 minutes earlier than that. I even asked her if she wanted one more short story and she said, “No thanks, I’m tired.” Mind blown. Our mornings have totally transformed as well. No tears. No fighting. No “I don’t want to go to school!” She gets herself up before I even go in to wake her. She’s well-rested, more at ease, more REGULATED. I’m telling you, this change has made all the difference. She’s getting over 10 hours of sleep now and is so much happier for it. So if you notice your kids’ behavior is out of the norm or if they’re having more trouble than usual, look up how much sleep they should be getting and start making small changes. I can’t believe how much and how FAST it’s helped. NO joke. Kids NEED their sleep. When they don’t get enough, it shows. So try it out and let me know if it’s helped you get your sanity back like it has mine!